in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
