We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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