kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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