i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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