I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize