I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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