I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
