yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
