Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
