I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
