Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
