road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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