Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
