now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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