Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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