I hate all girls vehemently.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
