He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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