I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize