I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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