Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
