i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
