just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
