just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize