I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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