Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize