I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
