Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
