everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize