it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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