..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
