Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
