We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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