Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
