Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
