you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
