The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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