This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
