If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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