YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize