oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
this hospital has no fireball
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
