He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
