Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
