She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
