You can't motorboat a personality
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize