Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
