Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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