I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
