If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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