Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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