Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
