I'm lost and stupid without you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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