apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
