Do vagina's smell?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
