i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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