even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize