I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Duck Duck Cougar?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
