If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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