Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
