You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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