Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize