guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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