Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
