I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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