I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
