tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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