:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
