Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
